Thursday, November 17, 2011

Time - Why Don't I Have More?




Modern Mom
Part breadwinner, part breadmaker
We try to do it all...but are we spreading ourselves too thin?

Just recently, I'd say since Christian came along, I feel time is always on my mind.  "Will I have enough time to....?"  "What time will I need to get done with this to have time for that??"  "What time is it?" "I don't have time, I have to do this...or that."  I think it's odd that before I had a child, I really had no interest in developing any hobbies, but as soon as we decided to have a kid, I wanted to do a hundred different things...pinterest hasn't helped matters either.  I love my child and would die for that kid, but he consumes 99% of my available and unavailable time....so by the time I get home from my full time job, get dinner on the table (which sometimes consists of grabbing something from a local eatery), getting him fed, bathed, and ready for bed, I have 2, maybe 2 1/2 hours tops to do anything extracurricular...and house work does not fall under that category.  So, if I am working on a quilt or anything sewing I tend  stay up even later because I just want to stay in that moment...I realized I don't like time restraints and I resent sleep a little too.  I LOVE to sleep, but I resent that I need to sleep..does that make sense?

So, I am completely in love with sewing.  I love making things and learning new ways to use my sewing machine.  Also, I have mentioned my love for photography...a venture that is slow going, but I feel is really good for me. I know it seems like anytime a woman becomes a mom she also becomes a photographer...and that may be true, but so what??  I have always loved photos and admire the seasoned photographers out there that have spent solid time developing their craft...why should I be any different?  I'm admittedly new at this, so the only way I'm going to get any better is by learning and practice, practice, practice.  I'm not going to have the nicest equipment right away or master editing skills, but I'll get there.  We all had to start somewhere.  

Does it get easier the older your kids get?  Or does that time you think you will have get taken up with sporting events, homework assignments, and even more house work? 

I feel selfish sometimes when I want to have this time to myself to do what I want...but I know all moms are different and for me to be a good mom, it is something I need...whether it be quilting, sewing, going out and snapping some photos, or having a night out with my girls - I need it.  I don't want to lose myself in the bundled role of mommy and wife.  I am much more than that...it hasn't always been easy for me to make the transition.  Please don't misunderstand me, I am forever IN LOVE my husband and son - I don't regret one second having them in my life on a permament basis. ;)  I just have to let other parts of me out from time to time.  What can I say?  I'm like a diamond, there are many facets to all that is Me :)  ...or maybe I'm like an onion, I have many layers, lol.  An onion sounds less arrogant than a diamond.

This was more of a rant posting.  I'm being a baby because I want more time and I can't get it. 

2 comments:

Valerie said...

Oh girlfriend, I am in the same boat. Now there are three versus me (haha), so I am unbelievably behind on anything crafty and fun. Which means my crafty to-do-because-I-love-it-and-want-to-do-it list has now become a I-have-to-do-it because I am so far behind and now overwhelmed at needing to catch up on overdue projects. Yipes. I'm sure our grandmothers and great-grandmothers (the original craftsters, haha) surely didn't put so much pressure on themselves, right?

Sara said...

I don't have kids yet, and I feel that way. Especially with adjusting to our move, I feel like I have very little time. Or rather, I'm so tired that I can't do anything else. Kyle and I were discussing the other night how (because we work longer hours now) we haven't gone to work out since we've been here...how are we going to do it with kids?! When I was in school I tried to do it all, especially as a newly wed...cook, clean, study, work, be fun, eat healthy, stay in shape, etc... But you simply can't do it all, and I had to learn what I could give up and what I couldn't. It sucks, but it's part of life I suppose.

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