Thursday, August 11, 2011

Happy 30th Birthday Me! 
{A time of reflection...bare with me}

So, when I was in my early 20's, I said to myself, "I hope when I'm 30 I have it together.  I hope by then I am comfortable in my own skin, I care less what people think about me, and I'm just at a place where I am happy with how my life has gone and where I see it going..."  I said all these things because back then, I Was uncomfortable in my own skin, I focused  too much on the opinions of others, and I was unsure about where my life was headed.  SO, have the above wishes for myself come true??  Yes and No. 

Someone once told me the older you get, the more comfortable you are in your own skin...you become less and less critical of your physical imperfections, you start to become more accepting of who your are, and you know your limit. I thought to myself, "How insecure am I?  I can't be THAT unsure of myself.  Is she saying I'm uncomfortable in my own skin???" Clearly all the self questioning was a sign in itself.   Now, I'm not saying at 30 I have it all figured out.  In fact, on some topics, I feel just as confused as ever.   You would think by now I would know how to pick out cute clothes that go together, but my hands down favorite default outfit is jeans, tank top/t shirt, black zip up hoodie, and my chucks.  I'm wearing this outfit today actually.  Somewhere down the road that is my life, I became severely fashion stunted. 

So here are a few things I have learned in my 30 years about myself and in general:

1.  Know when enough is enough.  In recent events in my professional life, I reached my breaking point.  I made a hard decision to not let fear be the deciding factor in my happiness.  At some point, you have to stand up for yourself and do what is right for you and your family.  Life is too short to make decisions ruled by fear.  My husband and son are now and forever will be my #1 priority.  When you make life altering decisions, I realized that your faith tends to jump in to prevent sudden panic attacks.    :)

2.  Drama is for your Momma, not me.  At this point in my life, I will avoid drama at all costs.  Girlfriends sometimes = DRAMA.  Friends that are overly dramatic...always have to make a big deal of everything and can't step back and rationalize the situation on their own I have stepped back from. I always wondered about friends that always seem mad at me about something I {supposedly} did ....why are you friends with me then??  I have never thought of myself as an outright cold calculating person, so if I have hurt your feelings then yes, please tell me...but if you took something I did or did not do and made made it personal, please step back realize the kind of friend I REALLY am and calm yourself :)  I love my friends and right now in my life, I have an amazing set of friends.  It's hard to find good friends, so do your best to keep them.

3.  This stumpy body is all mine and that is that.  I was blessed with my dad's body frame...short and stocky. I always say I have man legs.  In fact, I think some men would be jealous of my calves.  I, on the other hand, have always despised them, but unless I have outrageous calf reduction surgery (yes, they have that, I saw it on Oprah) I am stuck with them, so I better learn to love them somehow.  Besides, even if I were to be a skinny Minny, those suckers wouldn't go away.  Have you seen Kelly Osbourne's legs?  Even with weight loss, she's still got those calves!  So love your body just the way God intended it to be. Know there is a difference between loving yourself and letting yourself go ;)  I do believe in trying to be a healthy person. You can't always eat like a college student and why would you want to?  The older I get, the more I have noticed my body will crave {dare I say} healthy foods...fruits, vegetables...less fried.  I try to be cautious of what I am putting into my body...except when it's my birthday, so stop judging me for those that have seen me eat pizza and BBQ chips today. 

4.  Things will happen when they happen.  I am very much the type that takes the ball and runs with it...even if there is nowhere to go.  Let me give you an example...I am so dead set on moving into a bigger house that I momentarily convinced myself that it might be tight financially, but we'll get through it.  I knew I was going to have conflicts with work and daycare, but nothing was going to budge me...my mind was made up!  After the house I really wanted sold, I took it as a sign.  I had to remind myself not to force these things.  We will move when we move.  All I cared about was moving before kiddo started school...well that's another 4 years away!  We have plenty of time and I am just thankful we have a house right now. 





5.  Giving is so much more fun than receiving.  Don't get me wrong, getting a gift is always a nice surprise, but you should never forget to think of others from time to time.  If you make everything about you, you lose out on getting to make someone else smile.  You don't necessarily have to buy a gift...send a card, a text, etc.  Sometimes being nice to someone is the highlight of their day...but do it with a selfless heart.  If you are being nice to receive something in return, then it becomes a useless action. 







6.  The past is the past, there is nothing you can do to change it.  I am a person that always asks, "what if" and that my friends is the worst thing you can do to yourself.  If you are constantly living in the past, you truly can not move on with your future.  The facts are, you are where you are because of the decisions you made.  Whether you think they were mistakes or not, you can't change them, so you have to learn from it, accept it, and then move on with your life. 




Alright readers, that is all I really can think of.  I know I've learned more than that, but I'm pretty tired, so I'm shutting down.  OH!  I learned how important sleep is :)  Seriously, I believe youth is wasted on the young.  We had all the time in the world to sleep when we were young and all we wanted to do was stay awake...I guess we thought we would miss something...what we thought we were going to miss, I don't know.  See, young people aren't the brightest, lol.  There is nothing going on at 3am.  Don't be offended young people, we were all young once too.  ;)  I don't think I'm old though...I think I get better with age.  So watch out when I'm 65! 

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